804 True Life in God Notebook 77 March 6, 1995 (Suddenly the Cross on me became too heavy.) In the beginning my Lord, You cuddled me and watched each breath of mine with a motherly tenderness. You modelled me, remember, as soft clay is modelled with so much care, never have I felt that I was being felled so that I can start my life again; so tender was Your touch. You then endowed me with Your Holy Spirit, the Life-Giver, and my days since then ran hurrying by, seeing only delight in their flight; Why am I today trodden by the insensitive who cannot peer through their shadowed darkness? They who live under an impenetrable veil and who have to grope their way when they have to walk? You promised me that their greatness will be brought to nothing and their wisdom to dust. You are known to save those of downcast eyes and the innocent, You are known to take note of everything said and done, am I to be constantly crushed beneath the Rubble? 1 How much more can I be struck? Has my staggering not challenged You yet? Can I become more abject than I am already? And now You delight to have me where light itself is like the dead of night. 1The Rubble: the spiritually dead. listen, My lamb: to tell you now that I will unburden2 you from My Cross, you so generously asked Me to share with Me, would be complete folly on My part! the trials you are bearing for Me are not more than anyone has .... do not lose heart, daughter, and do not venture to say: “has He who assesses the heart no understanding?” My Wisdom cannot be explored by men; look! your race is not over, after all have you not heard with what desperation the prisoners of Hades3 knock on your door? 4 have I not schooled you so that your heart understands your mission? Vassula! have you not heard their groans? tormented in the night, those souls dash at your door for help; 5 you are feeble and you waver now ..... do not disappoint Me ..... in time of famine I came to you to nourish you and again, in time of death, I will save you; so make Me happy and allow Me to use you for My Interests; love Me and let your love for Me augment so that vermin will never cover your flesh; augment your prayers and offer them for My intentions; I will never hide My Face from you, never; 6 Fruit of My Love, Flower of My Thorned Crown, Blossom of My Church, do not be intimidated by My Nails; Pupil-of-My-Council, do you not know that humiliation and calumny sanctify you? have you forgotten that I have counted you as one of My daughters of My Church? what is more desirable than 2 The word “unburden” here has a double sense. First, “relieve”. Second, “burden” also means “an oracle”, in Hebrew (“Massa”). The second meaning of “unburden” here is, then: “to tell you now that I will stop giving you oracles”, etc. Read: Jr. 23:33-40. 3Purgatory. 4Several times between 4.00-4.30 am the door to my bedroom was nearly dashed down from the souls’ knocks. 5Help to them is given by prayers. 6Jesus said these words very solemnly.
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