210 True Life in God Notebook 23 will let you see the lance's blade, your heart will cry out with pain when you will see it; Peter, I will give you the strength and the courage you will need to have so that you may pull it out; 1 (Later on:) Vassula, My anguish for souls walking in darkness, souls full of blemishes, sours My Heart; My Vassula, I am outside her door knocking but she refuses to open, her daily occupations leave no place for her Saviour, her soul going into deeper depths of darkness; although I have given her the grace of intellect and perception she is not apt to change as long as she refuses Me to come in; I demand nothing, I ask only for some recognition, for some love; see, Vassula? (Jesus was sad.) creating her was a delight for Me, but would she know all this since she has shut Me out? yes, 2Vassula; love Me, My Vassula, you console Me; make up for those who have no love for Me; (Jesus wrote this on account of a visitor, one of our family who stays now with us for a few days. Having heard of these messages she asked me to have a look on them. She read some of the messages from October 1987 then left it. She yawned then said, “I guess when I reach retirement age I will take care of my rose-garden and my spiritual life, but not now.” She asked me to watch me while writing, so that she could satisfy her curiosity and watch the phenomenon. I refused her request. No one sees me unless God calls him or her for this. 1 Jesus was in great agony. When Jesus said “be my reflection” (a few lines back) I got up, thinking the message of that day was over; but a few minutes later on I received this special urge when a call is there or coming. I started to feel in me God’s agony. I knew it was from Him what I felt, for it went through my body, reflecting it on me. I heard his cry of agony, so I rushed back, hardly seeing through the many tears in my eyes. Jesus was suffering, He was in pain. It hurt Him to say and write this. 2This made me weep to see Jesus so sad. It happened twice: once for a special case. Then at the Catholic Charismatic Center in Dhaka. It is holy and it should not be profaned by curiosity.) March 30, 1988 (Today, Satan was desperate and tried very hard to convince me that all these messages were nothing and I should abandon writing, meeting God. I was in need of reassurance for my weakness dragged me down to the bottom. Realising my weakness of doubt, I also fear that God in the end will get tired of me and lose His patience.) flower, do not fear Me, I will not harm you or deny you, I have not brought you up to Me so that I now push you away from Me, or show any wrath or harshness upon you; I have formed you with tenderness and love; I have led you with love, I fed you with love; I worked with you gently, do not fear Me; come, learn that I am Meek and Gentle; peace upon you, soul; I love you! Lord, thank You for Your patience and for running to my rescue. I bless You, Lord. March 31, 1988 Vassula, never doubt that it is I, the Lord; fear not; it is I, Jesus; (I panicked, fearing maybe that all this is not from God. But then how was all this written? I’m confused...) Vassula it is I, Jesus, your Saviour who saved you and rose you from the dead; come, do not fear ... I wish to promote My Church; heresy has infiltrated, thus confusing The Truth and making divisions among you; digressing you from The Truth;
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